Oh, there are so many things to know.

Want to see what happens when a drunken chick is allowed to ramble angrily in an international forum for a year and a half?
Well, look no farther! Eep!

(The year buttons on the right & left take you to that year. Once you get to a year, month links take you someplace specific. Then a team of trained monkeys removes your clothing and forces you to smoke clove cigarettes for 20 hours. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

~ January ~ February ~ March ~ April ~ May ~ Tisember ~
~ June ~ July ~ August ~ September ~ October ~ November ~

November

November 20 Cry wolf
November 18 Explanations
November 17 Trevor calls it quits, I call it quits, life enters the downward spiral.
                                       So much for serenity.
November 16 Relatively serene again
November 15 "There has to be an invisible sun"
November 14 Weary, stale, flat & unprofitable
November 13 I ordered a steak, goddamn it!
November 11 Row on row
November 10 It pleases me
November 9 Sea-witch hair
November 8 "Everyone who was anyone was there"
November 7 Where'd you put the keys girl
November 6 Short & bittersweet
November 4 "We'll be together while the planet dies"
November 3 Faire Britomart
November 1 My own evil twin

October

October 31 Translucent black capes back on the rack
October 28 "It's man-sized inside..."
October 27 Not as interesting as I'd hoped
October 26 The trouble with keeping my womb firmly in place
October 25 Drained of my colours
October 24 He is our hero
October 23 And boy, was I surprised when she finally called
October 21 She bought a wig, see...
October 19 Because her own hair wasn't sufficient for the purpose
October 18 "I am human & I need to be loved..."
October 17 Desperation & dyke do's
October 16 Now solve for 'x'
October 14 Bored & lonely
October 13 Tribulations of a social butterfly
October 12 Anger, hope, perfection
October 11 Free-for-all
October 10 Cranky
October 9 New heights of decadence
October 8 Knick knacks, paddywacks, give a dog a grape
October 7 Feelin' crappy
October 6 It really is in the heart
October 5 Bonding with the enemy
October 4 Penguins?
October 3 Christina the Shameless
October 1 Not very interesting

September

September 30 Post-modern stylee
September 29 Queen of the Mercy Milk
September 28 And I need all the love I can get
September 25 Back soon
September 23 Poetry of longing
September 22 Personal politics
September 21 It's just a kiss away
September 20 Will they move to Minnesota, or maybe somewhere calm? /
                                        Or maybe they'll move in again with Mom!
September 19 A bit of caretaking
September 15 Caving with Kousin Kris
September 14 Pissing off the Chinese
September 13 Darling, you're the punishment for all my former sins
September 12 Poetry of discontent
September 11 May cause cavities
September 10 Disappointing vamps & the Freezer of Evil
September 9 Personal security & weevils
September 8 Wish you were here
September 6 First party aftermath
September 4 A little venting does a lot of good
September 3 "He's a God! In! An Alcove!"
September 1 New & Improved...well, which is it?

August

August 31 Mess around with gender roles
August 29 She brushes my face with her smile, 'forget about stars for awhile'
August 28 Line me up in single-file with all your grievances
August 27 Baby baby baby, whatcha tryin' to do?
August 26 Grandma's out of control
August 25 Laughter, joy & loneliness & sex & sex & sex & sex
August 24 Burned all my notebooks, what good are notebooks?
August 23 I want to be...
August 22 Tonight I'm feeling like an animal
August 20 These little conversations
August 19 Rocked the sand with the crustaceans
August 18 And we'll have fun fun fun...
August 16 Wanna take her home to meet Mom & Dad...
August 15 Très bien ensemble
August 13 And I feel like I just got home
August 11: still Second verse, same as the first...
August 11 No sleep 'til Brooklyn!
August 10 I want to kill this killing wish
August 9 I'm high as a cloud, I'm soft & gray & lazy
August 8 You can always keep the dream alive pallin' with Al
August 6 Camptown ladies never sang all de doo-dah day
August 5 He seemed so glad to see a woman in the flesh
August 4 I can't wait to get off work & see my baby...
August 3 Would'ja come running with our kind?
August 2 I'm shaking like milk

July

July 31 Comics & woe
July 30 Tales of the Plaque Shaque
July 29 Voodoo, chile
July 28 Rejections & Nocturnes
July 27 A new job & a new demo through Jesus hair
July 26 A hopelessly metaexistence
July 25 An easy penance to carry out
July 23 Broken-down hells & high-rolling swells
July 22 I'm not mad; I'm just drawn that way
July 21 A magical night & relationship purgatory
July 20 Relationship limbo
July 19 "Must be the home of a hit man..."
July 18 Pastry party at Palaver's
July 16 Me & the Devil Blues
July 14 Patrons; being patronized
July 13 For the boys
July 12 Crossing the Rubicon into Coupledom & lots of other stuff
July 9 31 more shopping days
July 8 Hated by de Gauls
July 7 Selling my firstborn & self-respect to look at Peter Murphy up close
July 6 "A new god on the horizon"
July 5 2 degrees of separation
July 3 I hate my stupid thankless job
July 2 I have been to the Edgefest & back

June

June 30 Rum & sodomy
June 29 Not the most demanding of entries
June 28 Why I'm not looking for a Sugar Daddy
June 27 Biology foils my Suzy Sunshine act
June 26 Day-time fulfillment of night-time anxieties
June 25 I am an über-cyber-brat, part II
June 24 Keeping busy
June 23 It'll only take age to make me an old crank
June 22 Bile & the Vernal Equinox
June 21 Jumping while the jumping's good
June 19 Cubicle drama
June 18 Scabs & literary healing
June 17 I am loved & accepted. Wow.
June 16 Roll, baby, roll
June 15 Jesus Gonna Be Here...
June 14 The Queen of the Impulse Buy
June 13 Celebration
June 11 Rejection
June 10 Obsession
June 9 My anecdote skills are going downhill
June 8 Should I run screaming into the shadows again?
June 7 On the scene
June 6 A new nest & MBs to burn
June 5 Email Queen
June 4 Dream Jeopardy
June 3 As Good Will Hunting As It Gets
June 2 That hot new alternative sound
June 1 Almost dying

Tisember*

* May was too bad to continue, so I autocratically started a new month.

Tisember 18 Tears
Tisember 17 I can't take the gaff
Tisember 16 Tune in, turn on, drop out
Tisember 15 Bored bored bored
Tisember 14 Sisterhoods & jingoism
Tisember 13 What keeps me up at night (hint: it's not beautiful goth boys)
Tisember 12 I'll never wash my hand again...probably
Tisember 11 Baptized in coke & boys' sweat
Tisember 10 Those intoxicated by long-gone friends & adrenaline
Tisember 9 Plans
Tisember 8 Doing what I do best (whining)
Tisember 7 Mid-week minutia
Tisember 6 Venting
Tisember 5 Babies, vampires & sunburns (another full weekend)
Tisember 4 Another mint julep, please...
Tisember 3 My boys show me a good time in the city
Tisember 1 Bone tired

May

May 13 Almost there
May 12 Reflecting on my physical weaknesses
May 10 A new month beckons...
May 8 Fairytales of the cheap & easy
May 7 My balloon stays up in a perfectly windy sky
May 6 "Dance with the Sufis, celebrate your top ten in the charts of pain"
May 5 Day cinco of DisMay
May 4 Catch that boy, lord, and I swear I'm gonna make him pay...
May 3 Last night in town
May 2 May Day! May Day!

April

April 30 Hair & Hormones & Farewells
April 29 Moving day
April 28 The 2 letters that mean so much...
April 26 I'm dead meat
April 24 Hanging out at home
April 23 "Layin' out on the floor, drunk & poor, how much longer, how much more?"
April 22 "White on white, translucent black cape's back on the rack"
April 20 The least of my worries
April 19 Another Slow Sunday
April 18 Trying to clear up some confusion
April 17 Po'try
April 15 Doing some of my best drinking & the somewhat-connected body modesty
April 14 Stuff. Lots of trivial stuff. That's all.
April 13 "In the end we're all just dust n' bones"
April 12 "Catch that bird, lord, and I swear I'm gonna make him pay"
April 10 God-stuff
April 8 Really goddamned tired
April 7 Paradoxical pre/post-exam wasteland
April 4 Blue Pariah
April 2 Hospitality of the Sky
April 1 The Tale of la Pequeña Araña y Daniel

March

March 31 Soundtrack to my life
March 30 It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood
March 29 My hungover battle with the Surrealists
March 27 Ass-Sized Margaritas
March 24 Queen of the Harpies
March 22 My buddies & me are gettin' real well-known/the bad guys know us and
                                they leave us alone
March 21 Bitter dreams
March 20 Ashtrays & CD's
March 19 Unhealthy & unfocused
March 18 Memories can't wait
March 17 For heaven's sake
March 16 Jackson Pollock can kiss my ass
March 15 Slack & Star Trek
March 14 Love-Seat Luge
March 13 They keep sucking me back in
March 12 Thursday evening at 8 o'clock, she is standing there
March 11 "Kiss me right here on my tattoo..."
March 9 Goobers be gone!
March 8 Rain, rain, go away
March 7 Fly's Damsel in Distress
March 4 Lacking essential Victorian moral fibre
March 3 "I'm still a better welder than that Flashdance chick"
March 2 Just imagine
March 1 Pissing off non-profit organizations since 1880

February

February 28 "It kinda wasn't quite what I'd hoped for, y'know"
February 26 King of the Road!
February 24 Is frustration a sin?
February 23 "I would tell you that I loved you, if I thought that you would stay"
February 21 I was a 17 year old vixen...
February 20 All the beautiful babies take the night off
February 19 I go all girlie-like
February 17 Morbidity & my brother
February 16 "Took her car keys & her shoes, left her with an invitation to the blues"
February 15 Home sweet home
February 14 Chocolate, roses, booze, blood, handcuffs...happy diva
February 13 Wait a minute! Statue of Liberty...? That was OUR planet!
February 9 A kiss is just a kiss
February 8 Fireball '98
February 6 Sexual subtext
February 5 Bleached blonde, baby!
February 2 Angry little entry
February 1 Assuming the worst

January

January 30 Home for a rest
January 29 Courage My Love
January 28 Jealous Spice
January 26 Existential Angst
January 25 Held together with a black cotton ribbon
January 24 Vile little seeds
January 23 Alcoholic palliatives
January 22 Being mysterious
January 21 Dream of St. Agnes
January 19 Clothing as emotional shorthand?
January 18 The party of Destiny
January 17 The best relationship of my life
January 16 Emergency Snowfest
January 14 Memo from sugar-high headache land
January 12 "I'm tired...of waking up tired"
January 11 My feet hurt...
January 10 Dinner and a show
January 8 Days of slack and roses
January 7 Irony
January 5 Live from the Skinner Box
January 4 I overuse the word "prevert"
January 3 Blood & donuts & slack & ultra-vixens & too many video store clerks
January 1 Bacon & Gatorade

~ June ~ July ~ August ~ September ~ October ~ November ~ December

December

December 30 Are we there yet?
December 29 Afternoon with a holistic detective; a night of hooking
December 27 A social life!!
December 26 fa la la la laaaaaaaaaa...
December 22 "Now I am silly..."
December 21 "Salsa shark!"
December 20 Si, signor?
December 19 The Sordid Tale of the Anal-Retentive Snow Stenciler
December 18 Cheese & lifestyle
December 16 I do not have Great Expectations for the movie
December 14 Not much going on
December 13 Getting drunk and wearing other people's shoes
December 11 Ankh angst
December 10 Mucking out the pit which is my room
December 9 MSG is my new god
December 7 G is for the Goat
December 3 Officially sanctioned slackerdom
December 2 I go wacky with parentheses!

November

November 27 Do you think unsociable depression will make me more popular?
November 25 F is for fester
November 24 E is for exhibitionism
November 21 Fungtoberfest!
November 20 Why I dig the MLA
November 19 Honourary degree, my ass
November 18 Words stick in my throat
November 16 Cabin Fever
November 15 Dim the lights and break out the haiku!
November 12 Southern lit. & the Girl from Ipanema
November 11 Why I hate Thomas Hardy
November 10 So much for creative nudity
November 8 Props from the "dame" lifestyle
November 7 Arts & leisure
November 6 Intrigue doesn't wear well
November 5 Cheesecake plots gone awry
November 4 You can't fire me, 'cause I quit!
November 3 Me to a T
November 2 I'm just a little raincloud
November 1 Fake wings on All Saint's Day

October

October 30 Roach no more, or "Together we were nothing but a menace.
                                  Apart we were nothing but lonely."
October 29 Japanese poetry & rare lucidity
October 28 Conversations with the ex, part whatever
October 27 Can you orbit around a vacuum?
October 26 Closer to God
October 25 Bonk!
October 24 Angst just before the party to end all parties
October 23 Goth Day aftermath
October 21 Journalistic parasite
October 19 Naughty anims
October 17 Auld Lang Syne
October 16 Exquisitely refined Fung torture
October 15 Drunk & depressed - not that there's anything wrong with that
October 14 If kids could cook, and who they'd cook for
October 13 China
October 11 My morning in the Upper Canada Jaymore
October 9 Social passivity
October 8 Showing off my bra to good advantage
October 7 I steer wide of the point
October 5 Wage Slave Obsequiousness 101
October 4 10:15 on a Saturday Night
October 3 I decide to act like a growe dup lady
October 2 The guy dichotomy explained

September

September 29 "How do you solve a problem like Aleta?"
September 28 I do not posess charming impartiality
September 27 Making clothes out of fig leaves
September 25 Responsibility doesn't preclude sex in the bathroom
September 23 The University grudgingly re-admits me:
                                       "Some large men are here to see you, sir."
September 22 I am expelled from cushy acedemia
September 21 I depress everyone
September 20 Tales from the Alpha Sigma Sigma frat house
September 19 Tiny little mid-morning entry
September 18 Not much to talk about
September 17 Even more irresponsible
September 16 "I never wanted this..."
September 15 Really irresponsible
September 14 Party party party & the inevitable come-down
September 11 Grab it & growl
September 10 Give me life, give me pain, give me myself again
September 9 We sacrifice more black roosters before 9 than most houses do all day...
September 8 Unmentionables
September 6 My life is ass
September 5 Debauchery & the Protestant work ethic
September 3 Hero worship
September 2 Loss, Sex & Renewal

August

August 31 I am an uber-cyber-brat
August 30 The reason they call it the "press," or may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest
August 29 Passion, hatred & Robotic intelligence
August 28 Cupid breaks a sullen silence; I get asked out
August 26 No man is an island, but I would sure like to be part of an archipelago
August 25 Anti-anniversary
August 24 I get in trouble in meatspace - so, what else is new?
August 18 Confessions?
August 15 Break out the ninesteins, they're coming home to me!!
August 14 Holding up my hands to the God in an Alcove
August 13 Make the bad man STOP!!
August 12 The Goddess of Technology bewails her fallen email swain...
August 11 Staying 17 in the Temple of Love
August 9 I'm soft & grey & lazy...
August 8 Sex & other things not to be taken too seriously
August 7 Sex & stealing
August 6 I miss being in love
August 5 Light, colour, and wanting to drink a 2-4 with Mother Nature
August 2 The pool party that never was
August 1 Serenity, for a change

July

July 31 Wherin our young heroine forgoes a serious discussion of irony in favour of
                           a long meditation on that controversial band Marilyn Manson (or
                           "Whaddaya mean, 'no autographs'?! Hey, I AM the God of Fuck!!!")
July 29 Why does praising him as a writer merely alienate him further?
July 28 Heterosexual Nazi Pedophiles, or "I have to go now. My potato is done."
July 21 "Temptation...never lets me down..."
July 20 Musings of a misunderstood Canadian crackwhore
July 19 "She was a showgirl..."
July 18 "This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around"
July 17 Presentiments of doom...
July 16 Perverseness and my new faith in kharma
July 15 A very controversial entry about Catholic School Girls
July 14 Reasoning
July 13 "I am the God of Fuck..."
July 11 Porno, floor show, Live Nude Girls...
July 10 Vapid sexism
July 9 Radio-head
July 8 Loneliness & amusing dialogue
July 7 "Fung Spice is PEOPLE!!! WE'RE EATING PEOPLE!!!!"
July 6 Unannoying day
July 5 My night out, and why we shall not speak of the Poet this week
July 4 Something nice about Poet
July 3 I am trendy
July 2 I am evil
July 1 All about Preacher

June

June 30 "Oh, man, I got SO LOADED this weekend!"
June 28 Buttermilk
June 27 Be my Patron
June 26 Surfing through a nude beach
June 25 You can't spell whiskey without t-r-o-u-b-l-e
June 24 New Gus
June 23 The gods are displeased
June 20 Casual day
June 18 My publishing story
June 17 Why do I feel like Dream?
June 15 So freakin' happy...
June 14 Sociology revisited

so you've found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts.
what's so amazing about really deep thoughts?