Silly announcement of the day:

My grandmother was Miss War-worker back in the day. I, on the other hand, was only distinguished in public contests by being consistently picked last in gym class.

And I'm not bitter at all.

October 17, 1998.

Two days ago, I had a wonderful guest lecturer who spoke at length about the eating fantasies in Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, opium culture in the Victorian era, and the overt lesbian qualities in Little Women. Apparently, Louisa May Alcott was involved in a "Boston marriage" (where 2 women live together, and which was the Victorian cover for cohabiting lesbians). His reference to Jo's hairstyle after she sells her hair as a "dyke do" was absolutely high-larious. He himself bore stereotypically "gay" characteristics such as boundless energy, a sweet voice & a good suit (it always makes me laugh how anxious some male breeders are to define themselves as sluggish, objectionable & sloppy.) But since his numerous digressions involved opium as well as queer elements in children's lit, it seems just as logical to call him a laudanum addict.

But all my ill-natured ranting aside, it was a truly enervating lecture. Trevor is in the habit of hanging out in the student lounge during this class; at the break, I rushed down to haul him up for the second half. As my usual professor is a dry, horribly stuffy & boring man, Trevor immediately grew wary. It's nice that he's getting a good sense of my deep & innate deviousness. By the end of the lecture, I couldn't stop the idiot grin that had possessed me since the beginning of the course. Such a good lecture...

Tonight I'm forsaking the intellectual guilt which fuels most of my academic achievements to spend a night in high old high-school style. To wit: I'm going over to Maharet's house to hang out with her, Daniel & Baby Jenks, and damn the consequences to the 2 seminar presentations I'm doing next week.

I'm trying to be strong, but the guilt is working in me like rot. Damn it! Christina the Shameless said that she's spent the last year or so just living, refreshed to be free of the guilt which laced through her MA-earning days. Of all the things that she said that night, this is the only think that has really stuck with me, despite my furious jealousy at the time. I really would like to live free of guilt for a little while...it's just not in the cards for me while I'm in Brampton.

one year ago today: speechless