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September 4, 1998.I've discovered that I'm getting more excited about filling a page with an entry now than I was before. When I'm really smoking through a particular page layout, I'll fall in love with my design; looking at it over & over again after it's completed. This layout wasn't like that. But it's growing on me.
Yesterday I spent the entire day cleaning the house. My goal was to tidy & dust all areas except for bedrooms, Nic's messy desk & the basement. I was scrubbing out a toilet 5 minutes before I left for the night's festivities. I was hardcore. And it's finally done. I have 2 more bathrooms to clean. Nic's doing all the vacuuming. And Mom's "creatively directing" me in the final round of decorations. I can't believe that a task that took up so much anxiety fuel is almost done. Sure, it took me 6 hours. But at least I feel like I accomplished something with my day. Today we bought all the food, which was much less stressful than I'd anticipated...mostly because Mom & Dad are paying for this portion. Mom considers cleaning toilets more than adequate return for $300 of groceries. Yeah, I have a weird mum. But you expected different?
And then 5 minutes after I ceased scrubbing the first toilet, Brandi & Maharet arrived to ferry me to the Rock to celebrate Brandi's last night in town 'til Christmas. This was also the only time we've managed to hook up with Sven the entire summer, despite the fact that he's worked in & out of the area for months. Mr. Blonde was there, acting like...himself. Every time I get disappointed in his behavior, I just remind myself that I'm not contractually obliged to like him anymore. Although I couldn't help but smirk when I found out that he spent the previous night on a res room floor...apparently his new goil's treating him a lot like I did in our last year together, except these 2 aren't "involved in that way." Smirk. Edgar Allan, though, was an utter asshole. Although it was Brandi's last night in town, and although she drove us all to the club, he sat with other people on the opposite side of the room. And he stopped conversation in the van briefly by "subtly" telling me to my face that he doesn't like me. Not like that's a surprise...he's never liked me. He told me off the first night we met, before I'd even started dating Mr. Blonde. And he was insanely jealous of my relationship with his best friend, resorting to taunts & insults whenever he felt particularly put upon by our spectacular relationship (well, it was spectacular when it worked & spectacular when it went down in flames, so I think the adjective is warranted here). The problem is that he's not very interesting. He has intrinsic worth as a human being, I suppose...but that's it. He listens to the "alternative music" the local radio station provides, he buys his clothes in department stores or boutiques at the mall, and he gets frequently drunk on generic Canadian crapbeer, disdaining better beer because it is "trendy." I can socialize with an interesting person who dislikes me. Beowulf constantly insults me via email whenever I respond to one of Poet's mass mailings (happy, sug?), but how can you disdain someone who does crazy, character-saturated anecdote-worthy stuff constantly? Ferinstance, once he got high on smack in North York, freaked out, decided to run home to the downtown core, pulled out a gravestone en route and showed up at the Alpha Sigma Sigma Frat Haus with the gravestone under one arm & a bucket of fried rice on the other. Playing "I Never" with him is an exercise in incredulousness. Anyway, I was as pissed off at him for the entire night...but not too much, because why should I care, really? I'll be gone for 8 months or so, and we've long-since established that worrying about what bit players in my life think of me is an exercise in futility. (I'm sure getting a lot of exercise in this section, huh?)
But other than that, I had a pretty good time. I debuted my new Bauhaus baby-t last night, and with shredded & patched jean shorts, black maryjane docs, my scarf/boa & the leather car coat that I've been waiting to wear since June, it looked pretty freaky. 'Specially since I had my hair in 2 silly ponytails, wore almost as much black makeup as I did to the Bauhaus show & snapped gum in between draughts of very cheap beer. I was Satan's Own Cheerleader. The trendy types watched with sneers as I bounced around to "Head Like A Hole," expending way too much energy, but enjoying being a spectacle. Between Maharet, Daniel, Brandi, Mr. Blonde, Sven, Trevor & Edgar Allan (who graciously consented to visit every once in awhile), we filled a very low couch 2 deep (Sven lay across 4 laps at one point, and at another, Maharet took Daniel's lap while Trevor sat in mine). It was very puppy-friendly, which didn't quite fit the ambiance. But who gives a fuck. We had a good time...this is the first time I've been in a couch pile-on since Palaver's housewarming party. They're something I didn't know I missed until I was in one again.
Once again, Sven & I will be in the same class on MWF at 10 a.m. I find that very comforting. We also discussed once again the fact that he once had a crush on Trevor (they shared a class years ago). When I was in junior high, having a boy that others admired somewhat raised the value of that attachment...supply & demand of 12-year-olds, hmmm. Now I think it's cute, but it doesn't change my perception of Trevor in any significant way. Boys have expressed their desire for him in the past, which I suppose makes it less likely for him to leave me for a boy. Unless he's just waiting for the right one...or I myself am enough boy for him. This is turning into an awfully silly section. Time to stop.
One of the things that made Bauhaus Day so special was the sudden & not-entirely-unexpected but-pretty-damn-startling-all-the-same appearance of Aegis in the Whitney Hall quad. It was rather freaky, tell truth...I'd arranged to meet Trevor there at 4. I was late, of course (I was born late & it set the pattern). As I sauntered into the quad, I thought I saw the back of his head on the bench facing away from the entry arch, but then I spotted him on another bench. We waved, and I began to loudly make excuses for my lateness, when the head whipped around. Aegis leapt to his feet & we ran to each other with arms outstretched just like sappy people in a slow motion romantic sequence. After not seeing him for the last 4 months, the sudden reunion gave me an incredibly intense headrush. I had to flop down & rest in order to be able to properly introduce Trevor & Aegis. And then we went to McDonalds...just like old times. It's amazing how much nostalgia can be involved in shoveling crap into your digestive system...but eating at Micky D's just wouldn't be the same without him. Sigh. For all my apprehension about my new responsibilities & my crappy apartment, it's awfully nice to be back. Quite kind of Autumn to return, don't you think?
Days to the party: 1. |
