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September 1, 1998.Hey, look! Geocities has (somewhat) made up for all of the annoying hack-proof add-ons by giving me subdirectories...so I've decided to take a frequently recurring suggestion & try separate pages for each entry. If it's too much trouble, I'll go back...I already feel like a sheep. Look at me fall in line with the journal mainstream... The stars are also gone this month...I just like the blue spermy shape better, for some reason. But enough about this. Let's talk about me.
I could reiterate my long list of tasks that are intimidating the hell out of me, but I won't. Suffice it to say, I should not have taken the last hour to redesign...especially since I have unanswered email piling up. And I begged for more. *sigh* I should be coordinating tomorrow's goth-out. I should be on less cutting-edge technology...like the phone. But I'm not. Today my mother & I heroically avoided cleaning the house by running a bunch of tiny but necessary errands. Unlike yesterday, when I visited a lingerie shop, a drugstore, a dollar store and a wine store, today I ricocheted around the rather uninteresting mall. Sven found me unexpectedly...and followed me & mom through Sears before announcing his presence. He's such a lovable freak. But other than that, it was an unfulfilling day of procrastination & weariness.
I discovered that that Depeche Mode song that goes: "all I ev-ah waaanted / all I ev-ah neeeeded / is heah. In. Myyyyyy. Arms" (some day I'll learn the title, damn it) is like a goth version of that horrible Brian Adams song "Everything I Do, I Do It For You." For some reason, it brings out the sentimentality of the carefully blasé gothcrowd. I discovered this interesting group quirk on Saturday, when Trevor was being particularly affectionate (for everyone I know, alcohol magnifies touchy-feelie emotions & diminishes concern for what others might think of public displays of affection. As I was sober, I had to walk a fine line between returning affection & maintaining appropriate levels of social contact with our boothmates. Anyway...). The song came on, and we were acting rather goofy by dancing in each other's arms & whatnot...but when I looked to my right, I could see another couple doing the exact same thing. It kinda makes public silliness seem okay when you see strangers doing the same thing. I don't know why that is, but so be it.
I'm not terribly happy with this entry. This is one of my hangups...by drawing attention to individual entries by separating them, am I dooming myself to mediocrity? We'll see, won't we.
Days to the party: 4. |
