September 10, 1998.

I am such a jerk.

What with the excitement of the move, the lack of sleep & my general wooly-headedness, I shamefully neglected to call Sister Sunshine today. Today is her 22nd birthday (well, the day ended 3 hours ago, so technically it was yesterday). And I didn't call her.

And I wonder why people stop calling me.

I'm incredibly tired right now. I don't think I've had a good night's sleep in weeks (or I don't feel like I have, which is the same thing really). Although I slept relatively well on Tuesday night, any perkiness was effectively negated by the 2 hours I spent in front of this very screen. When will I learn? And when I do, will that be the last you see of me?

I've found out why they advise you against shopping when you're hungry. I decided to shop for my first load of groceries when I was hungry, tired & more than a little apprehensive about my grocery-buying prowess. I ended up spending 65 of my last hundred dollars on very practical things, but I had to fight the urge to pick up extras like waffles. I like waffles, but I haven't eaten them in years...and they're certainly not vital to my diet. (All of this virtuousness took it's toll later, tho'...my brother paid me some of the money he owes me for the party, and I immediately bought Boccaccio's "Decameron" & "The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde." Sigh. Once an english major, always an english major.)

I felt very grown up & strong as I left the store. And then I stole/borrowed the grocery cart to get the food home, so I felt a tad more adolescent; a tad more Gus-like.

But when I returned with the swag, I realized that we had a freezer problem. It doesn't look like anyone's defrosted the freezer in roughly a million years, so that the only space to shove frozen foods was far too tiny for all the food I'd bought whilst hungry. So I shoved in what I could & took the overflow home to Brampton for the night. Today I came back with a cooler & 2 bags of ice, determined to do battle with the freezer from hell. That was at 5 p.m. It's now 3 a.m. and we've barely melted half of the ice. The kitchen is under a full inch of water in some places. Galadrial's hairdryer is proving helpful, but we can only use it so long without burning it out...not to mention the nervousness that comes with using an electrical appliance whilst standing in a puddle of water. My milk is about to go over & I haven't even opened it. Ditto my sliced turkey breast. So much for feeling grown-up & in control.

Fucking freezer.

But I did see a rather interesting movie with Palaver tonight. It's called Habit, and it's about a strung-out looking guy dating a mysterious nympho vampire chick. The characters are somewhat fascinating to watch, but it has no sense of pacing...an hour seems like 2, and there was no real climax. The 2 main characters were rather attractive in a stick-thin heroin chic sort of way, and they have realistic-looking sex a lot, but it wasn't quite enough to keep my interest. Especially since some of the scenes were exactly like a few dreams that I've had...but they were entirely disappointing in the movie. For four dollars you can't really complain, but I can always find something bitch about, right?

Well, back to the fridge.

one year ago today: art as a side effect of starvation