When we last spoke, I mentioned that my all-important meeting was pushed off until Friday, which nicely added another 24 hours of anxiety onto my already-full dance card. When it finally went down, everyone was very nice & constructive. My union rep says it was because she was in the room with me. Theresa says that this theory doesn't give much credit to me, but I don't so much care as long as we get somewhere positive rather than negative. This weekend I'll be working on an action plan to address the "deficiencies" they identified. On Monday we move into step 2.
My principal said that she thought that it was the beginning of a "brilliant" career. I'm really not sure how to take that...the phrase, "brilliant failure" comes to mind.
Last weekend I had a conversation with my mother:
Mom: Is Bowling For Columbine the best documentary ever?
Me: I don't know. I don't see a lot of documentaries.
Mom: Because I'll see it if it's the best ever.
Me: I thought it was pretty good.
Mom: I find him Pushy and Obvious. But I'll see it if it's the Best Ever.
Me: ??? (belatedly figuring out the whole conversation was an excuse to call Michael Moore pushy & obvious.)
There was one heady moment when I was able to excite a class by an idea...And when the dismissal bell rang, they paid me the highest compliment: they groaned! They crowded in the doorway, chirping like agitated sparrows, pecking at the seeds I had strewn...- bel kaufman, up the down staircase, 1964
Yesterday my day went from brilliant to semi-okay to crummy-but-I-can-handle-it. In my first period we talked about the idea of the ends justifying the means. This is something that students tend to have a considerable amount of difficulty with, so I decided to do some scenarios and discussion with them. (I should mention at this point that I was totally pulling this lesson out of my ass. My daily planning is pathetic.)
On the board I wrote down 3 scenarios:
- medical knowledge gained from Nazi concentration camps
- cosmetic testing on animals
- diabetes research involving the deaths of many dogs.
The idea was that they would work from a situation where the cost pretty clearly outweighed the results, to a situation where the costs and benefits are roughly similar (or at least both sides can be argued), to a situation where a clear benefit to human life is reaped. The discussions were amazing...I've always heard that incredible results can be obtained when you put real & thorny questions in front of students, but I've never seen it work quite so well. Some of my favourite moments include:
- one student suggesting that we test cosmetics on cattle before we slaughter them for the table
- another suggesting that we use dogs that have been contained for attacking humans or those in animal shelters destined to be euthanized anyway (from here we were able to touch on the ethics of using captive populations as non-voluntary research bases)
- after hearing a great deal of sympathy for "the poor animals," asking the class how many of them made sure that their products weren't tested on animals
- me, laughingly clearing up some confusion about cosmetic testing ("They don't give monkeys makeovers! The rabbits don't leave the chair feeling good about themselves!")
Theresa was there, too, wading into the discussion and getting them worked up until the metaphorical fur flew. We talked until the bell rang. It was absolutely brilliant.
And about the rest of the day I prefer to draw a curtain. I smoked too many cigarettes after work, and came home ill to my socks. Must stop overindulging to compensate for the lack of alcohol in my life!
