This is what I don't like about my father in a nutshell: he's impulsive, he's autocratic & he's defensive. When he makes plans he absolutely refuses to accept input on them. When he offers help with something, it quickly turns into his show. This isn't so bad outside the family, where he is generally deferent & polite, but inside the family he defends his decisions with scorching anger and blasphemous strings of expletives that I don't feel I should have to deal with. Take today as one example: I thought it might be a nice idea if my mother took a look at the groceries and stuff to best decide what we could integrate into the household supply, what would be best kept down with us and what should be thrown away. My dad got wind of this, and suddenly this nice idea was carved in stone & I had no choice about doing this phase of packing with my mother (although the two of them could feel free to change the date on a moment's notice). Then my mother's friend got involved. This morning I was woken up at 8:30 (surprise!) to accommodate my mother's friend's arrival (it's now 10:20 and there's no sign of this woman). As I was groggily charging through a shower, I was told that my father would be meeting us at the apartment to move the final boxes (unpacked) and furniture (unwieldy). He would be assisted by my mother (who hates moving and is going to make everyone miserable), my mother's friend (who has serious back problems and cannot move a thing) & myself (one day shy of my due date). The Boy just called; he'll be joining us at 1 p.m. after a completely sleepless night spent working on a paper at the university library. I was pathetically grateful that he offered to skip his afternoon class to help me retain my sanity.

See? Do you see how my life has morphed from one in which I have a modicum of control to one in which I have none? I'm strapped to a fucking rocketslide, my friends, and the only thing I can do is to keep biting my tongue.

The last couple of days have been pretty quiet. I've been slowly putting the Cave to rights as my back and low energy levels allow. We're still sleeping on the floor, and I've come to the conclusion that it's not really sleeping on the floor that makes one achey - it's getting up from hands & knees when one is half-asleep. Most days are very serene, so much so that I often forget to eat. Then there are days like today, that pull every fibre of my being out my ears.

later...

Well, that was kind of okay. It wasn't as much fun as our other moving days, or even particularly satisfying like the other weekends, but it's over now and that's a good thing. We found everything that was missing, so the best thing to come out of today is that I have a bed to sleep in tonight. No more pulling my huge pregnant body up from a floor in the middle of the night! I mean, unless I fall out of bed, which is unlikely but possible. Of course, if I fell out of bed, I would have other problems than just going back to sleep right away.

Tomorrow is my due date, so I'm going to try to sleep now. Who knows what'll happen tomorrow? Probably nothing, but it'd be nice to face the nothing with a full night's sleep behind me.

Booty Call: Day 265 - Your baby may no longer be floating, and may be deep in your pelvis (engaged), especially if you're a first-time mom. Labour may begin very soon!

5 years ago today: an interestingly insane entry about love & presentiment