I am exhausted. I'm still feeling pretty decent, but when you're not running on fear and shame, or alternatively on happy pills, staying awake after classes becomes that much more difficult. Today I got out of the school at 3:45, the earliest I've been able to leave since I started last week. I celebrated by driving Theresa home, then talking my mother into buying sheets for Bob's wedding present. (I forgot to mention that we received an invite after all. Bitterness swallowed.)

I suppose the latter requires a bit of explanation. Halfway through the morning I discovered that my wallet was at home. Hilarity ensued. First, I called my parents' & got Nic on the phone. He agreed to leave $120 in unmarked bills on the inner doormat. My parents, finding this envelope, concluded that I was completely out of grocery money & hitting up my poor brother for a loan. When I got to the house & explained myself, my mom decided to come with me. She ended up putting the sheets on her Sears card (it's all about the points); I paid her off in cash; now I owe Nic some money. I think he accepts cheques.

The other good thing to come of this visit is that my parents have given us a late anniversary present of cash, so now we can afford to stay in a motel in Kingston instead of making the 3-hour drive after the wedding. I think the idea of two exhausted kids (one carrying the precious grandchild) driving through the wee hours of the morning on Ontario's death highway gave them the willies. It's starting to affect me, too.

Yesterday I took 3 minutes in a staff meeting to talk about stress and new teachers. I ended up reading 4 items off a long list of stress reduction tips before my time ran out. I hadn't planned to be very self-confessional (I've been rundown on that road before), but I ended up spilling my guts. That night I went home thinking that I'd really overplayed my hand, but many people approached me today to congratulate me on my bravery & poise. Huh. The organizer of last night's meeting is talking about setting up a stress session for the coming weeks, with me in the starring role. Suddenly my experience as Queen Stress Monkey seems to have been worth something. Again: huh.

People are still stopping me to tell me how great I look, including my entire department & the new girl. I didn't think Samuel ever looked at anything below my hairline - his spontaneous compliments were really welcome. Of course, he framed it with his own recent experience with maternity clothes - his wife gave birth in July - and his own understanding of how difficult it is to find nice maternity clothes. Fortunately, I was showered with gifts from a number of sweeties (Scout in particular gave me a whole box of new & used mat clothes that she bought 'for fun.')

It also helps that I'm healthier, I'm carrying more essential weight but less excess weight, my skin is clear, I have a sassy haircut, and I get to leave teaching in 42 days. All of these things add a certain bounce to my step.

Of course, I spent the entire day sheparding kids in and out of the library, and the less said about this, the better. The shine is starting to fade a little, but then again, it would have to. After all, I'm not teaching gumballs or marionettes, more's the pity. Can't be ecstatic forever.

Buddy: "Ms. Rocketbride, I did my homework."
Me: "Oh, you succumbed to my superior logic."
Buddy: "Actually, your logic was inferior."
Me: "Oh, really?"
Other Student: "Give it up, Buddy!"
Buddy: "I'm about to."
Me: "Let's move along to that moment, then, shall we? And I'll start talking to this other student."