july 14, 2003.
I'm feeling totally bowed down with the pressure of words. There are so many words, so many experiences within me that are fighting for air that I never know where to start. I wake up guilty. I go to bed guilty. I dream in guilty snatches of time lost & opportunities that slip away. Well, I have 1 1/2 hours until I'm needed at the Dance Cave, so maybe I can fix a few leaks.
We spent yesterday slowly getting our life restarted. The suitcases sit on the floor in the middle of the bedroom, but that's okay: Sister Silver did laundry for us, so it's mostly clean. Our camping tea towels are a sorry sight, though, and went straight into the laundry pile. (Am I the only one in the world who likes to put smelly tea towels on the laundry pile? I always feel that once I do that, I can't "rescue" my shirts for one more day - now they stink; now they must be washed.) I also took out the pair of underwear that's been in the back seat of the car for about a week, although not before Dirk had spotted it and asked when I'd be taking it out and washing it. I responded with rueful outrage: did he think that I was just going to return it to the rotation after a week in the car?
(I've been feeling very giggly ever since my vacation started this month.)
We also bought groceries, so we can stop eating out for every meal. Then we picked up Dirk & finished our visit of Carabram with a whirlwind 3 1/2 hour tour of 4 pavilions. By the end, I was unexpectedly glutted with Polynesian dancing, and completely bored by the sight of red leather boots. Cultural overload, I expect.
I've been feeling more and more pregnant in the last couple of days. Not only is my belly getting firmer (it's been big but squishy for some time - I think I'm actually losing some of the pill weight as I gain baby weight) but my navel is slowly inverting. Today I felt what I suppose are Braxton-Hicks contractions (at least, I hope they're B-H and not a sign of miscarriage), and had to lie down for a while.
This is getting fun.
