W A R N I N G

The next section will be entirely about pregnancy & bodily fluids. If you feel offended by the last concept, skip down or go somewhere else.

This will be your ONLY warning.

Had a really scary morning. I woke up shortly after nine, and as I swam to the surface, I felt kind of...damp. I've been slowly leaking the show since Friday morning, so I figured that it was more of the same old. But it was really wet, so I had a momentary hope that my water had broken. I turned on the light to check the appearance.

Red. Dark, fresh, blood. And a clot that looked as big as the universe. In that one terrified moment when I leaped out of bed, I honestly thought that I was bleeding to death - or that the Sprout was.

I ran upstairs to put on a maxipad & find my wallet. In those few moments, I had travelled through a future where the Sprout died, after which I packed away the crib for a long time and returned to Hogsboro High to teach through the second semester. These contemplations don't take very long; by the time I got back, the Boy's calmness had started to affect me. I paged Hectate & got dressed while waiting for the phone to ring. I thought about going to the hospital in a black t-shirt that said "World's Worst Teacher." I wondered if I'd have time to shower before the hospital staff took over.

When Hectate phoned, she spoke of objects. Was the clot of blood as big as a sausage? Was it as big as a loonie? I thought so. A toonie? I didn't think so. She asked if I had maxipads, and explained again that a baby's head could cause blood vessels to break inside me, producing what looked like a horrifying amount of bleeding. "If it keeps gushing out like a wound, or if you feel a deep pain in your abdomen, page me again. Other than that, I want you to just relax and try to count the baby's movements."

I sat on the couch and drank gingerale with my hand on my Belly and counted Sprout kicks and thought again about my own ignorance. I used to think that the blood in "bloody show" would be the cute little flecks I saw on Friday. Blood tends to make a big deal of itself when it shows up, just like spilled milk, and I'd thought that "blood-tinged" was the only thing I'd see. I didn't realize that you could wake up soaked with it like a 12-year-old who isn't used to anticipating menstruation. I didn't realize that drops of blood could fall on the floor when you walk and guess what? You're still okay and everything's normal.

I know now that a good deal of that fluid was mucous. But Christ. It was scary.

From the Save the Day for the Sprout File:

Today the sky was crisp & blue & cold. We went to Noah's on Yonge Street to get some herbs for induction and meet Pixie. I wore Scout's coat (which is getting awfully tight on me) and my mother's black hat (which is gathering an enormous amount of compliments this season - go figure). I sat on the floor next to the breath mints while we waited for Pixie and read a magazine on natural health. The Boy was cranky: he wanted to go home and work on a project and he was not happy about waiting around for his sister. He only cheered up when we got some food at Green Mango - I remember hugging him outside Noah's and gradually talking him out of getting in the car & going home angry.

Pixie & Paul showed up and although we tried to get them to sit with us, Paul refused to sit next to strangers. Hee. They decided to wait for us across the street. I lost my appetite & got most of my food to go. We met the other two & sat in a Second Cup & laughed at little dogs & talked about the politeness of the word 'Jew' & I took my first dose of tincture with water in a paper cup. I thought it tasted like lawn clippings.

As we drove home, we listened to Cross-Country Checkup and I tried my best to remain interested in John Crosbie. Losing. Battle.

"Jesus is right here in this skate park. Don't you think He is everywhere, Mr. Hill?"

"Yeah, well, I'm sure He's a lot of places he doesn't want to be."

At home we took herbs & watched teevee. I saw the world's best episode of "King of the Hill." And then...

I've been having contractions all afternoon. They vary in intensity, from period-like twisting that's uncomfortable but not all-consuming, to waves of pain that I can talk or sing through with a bit of effort (I've taken to reciting times tables & making up words to whatever's on the radio. It would be a lot funnier if my concentration weren't shot to hell.) I've taken 4 doses of the mixed blue & black cohosh tincture recommended by Hectate, and it seems to be working now. Contractions are not yet completely regular, nor are they strong enough to keep me from talking, but I'm getting them. Oh yes. I'm getting them. I hesitate to write this prediction after what happened on Monday, but I think that I'm in active labour right now. I'm 8 minutes apart now, which I quite enjoy (when they're not going on, that is).

I like making progress.

Booty Call: Day 275 - The amniotic fluid level remains adequate, but volume declining. Baby's skin is wrinkling. Heel creases extend to heel of foot. No vernix is present and baby could scratch himself.