I feel like I'm coming to the end of something big tonight. Dirk is driving me frigging crazy, and I don't know how much more of it I can take.

Since it was Friday, and since I rather like my co-workers, I went off to the local bar after school. As is my custom, I drank my single beer, smoked Teresa's cigarettes, talked about school and more interesting topics, and tried to figure out where I needed to be that night. I called Dirk. I really don't know why I bother anymore. Every Friday I call him, only to hear the same things: he can't go out. He's too tired to see anyone. He might come out on Saturday but probably not. He has plans with other people. And on & on it goes.

This has been going on since August. I really thought that we would always be close, always have something to say and something to do. But I can't take week after week of this indifference. And it's not just him, although I had this conversation tonight and I'm feeling it keenly. I mean, my feelings are hurt. I haven't exactly been well lately, and when I make a social overture instead of hiding, I really think that I should be able to crawl out of my shell with my nearest & dearest. But nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I'm finally feeling well enough to go and kick over a few towers...but when I make my calls of a Friday night, I might as well be in Nova Scotia for all the response I get.

I mean, what's the point of coming back, of working hard, of being sick and then getting well if there's no one around to celebrate with?

Still, I know this weekend will get better. Pixie's in town, finally returned after a long period of green card exile. There will be gatherings a plenty in the next few days. I just wish I could be sure that people will still want to see me when she goes back to 'hicago.

On the other hand, it was really, really, REALLY good in class today. During first period, my class read silently, worked productively, and asked to see a photo of my sweetie. During second period, a kid asked me if I'd ever been handcuffed. "By the police?" I enquired sweetly, to much hooting and outraged shouting. In last period I helped a girl rewrite the classroom calendar, confiscated an orange, mocked two of my students with impunity and laughed for a full 70 minutes. Also appearing in my day: a skunk, 2 cigarettes, and the phrase, 'screwed like drunken monkeys.'

Yeah. A REAL good day.

me: "Dick, you're going to have to move." Dick moves away from Tom. A few seconds later, Tom (not the sharpest tool in the shed) looks up.

Tom: "Why does Dick have to move?"

Me: (in a dumb voice, before I can think twice) "Why does Dick have to move?"

Harry: (laughing) "Ms. RocketBride's just burned Tom! She's losing it!"