may 24, 2000.

if...

If Q hadn't left for the states, he & Pixie never would've gotten married.

If they hadn't had a strong sense of drama, they never would've decided to make their wedding a kilt occasion.

If the Saints were more ordinary, they never would've thrown a plaid & bondage-themed party.

If we weren't both in need of a kilt, the Boy & I would've never met in Richardson's.

If he had been more sober, he might've tried acting cool. In that case, I may not have been interested enough to answer his email.

If all of those things had not occurred, I would not be getting married in 87 days.

If Stacy hadn't invited me to the Free Flow Dance Company fundraiser, we would've met at Q & Pixie's wedding instead.

If I hadn't offended the PC sensibilities of the college rag, I wouldn't have had time to scheme up a poetry rag with Paris.

But if I hadn't fallen in love with Paris, Alexi & I would've broken up anyway. I know that now.

If Cranly & I hadn't spent the whole year flirting, we never would've started making out on the couch at 4 a.m., no matter how drunk we were. I owe Ophelia a great big chocolate apology cake for that.

If she hadn't taught me to give my friends money instead of lending it, I might be really mad at some friends. But she did and I'm not.

If I hadn't been picked on as a child, I wouldn't try so hard to be empathetic and I would have limits on the things I'd do for people.

If I lacked the drive to become a teacher, I might be pregnant by now, just for something to do.