june 15, 2000.

Time sure is slipping away from me this week. When I was working, the weeks & months went by like a dream, and I expected a corresponding slowdown & maybe even a time-consuming bout of depression. But I've done okay. Anger filled some time in the beginning, then a weary sense of resignation replaced the anger, and finally a whole bunch of tasks replaced the resignation. Over yesterday & today I have addressed & assembled 43 invitations: halfway done. Once that's out of the way, I can do thank you cards for the shower. I guess I should be glad that it was so small, because if there's one thing I hate hanging over my head, it's thank you cards. That point after Christmas when my Mom would start to nag was inevitably the time when the most interesting activities presented themselves. Today I'm just lazy.

A flurry of phone calls last night. My uncle is in the hospital for facial surgery - he has a condition in his forehead & jaw that can cause the bones to grow for no reason, and it's become time to take care of it. The freaky part is that he only told his sister and didn't put a home phone number down beforehand...so when his son came to visit, the hospital wouldn't admit him. Actually, I wish I could say it was an atypical situation but no one in my dad's family says anything to anyone when they go in the hospital, so it's always an unpleasant surprise to find out in media res as it were.

The last time my uncle had this surgery, I was about ten years old. I remember it very distinctly because he slipped into a coma for a little while after they removed the respirator. His jaw was broken & wired shut, he had a hole in his throat for feeding - and this was the good news, this is what I saw a week later when he had pulled out of the coma and was recovering his motor skills. He lived with us for about a year following the surgery as my mother was a full-time mom & the only one in the family who'd offered to take him in.

Oddly enough, I don't recall it as a terribly frightening or traumatic time. Even the fact that my brother & I lived in the same room for a while wasn't so bad. During the day, that is; he used to make clicking noise deep in his sinuses as he slept, keeping me awake until I wanted to smother him in his bed. These days he sleeps when I'm awake & has left the house by the time I return at night; I deal with phone calls until I want to take a blunt instrument to his friends & himself. But that's neither here nor there.

I suppose the important thing is that my uncle hasn't slipped into a coma again, that his son was finally able to visit & we all now know what's going on. Ignorance may be bliss, but partial ignorance is scary.

I miss having a social life. Things seem terribly exciting for other people lately. Little Spider just got a contract worth a previously unheard-of amount of money & will use it to propel herself out of what has become a very hostile situation with her mother. Morgan has moved already, snagging a lovely two bedroom for herself & the baby - finally the turmoil of baby & marriage & separation & recovery seems to be over.

On the other hand, another friend was kicked out of a bar on Monday. He says the bouncer provoked him until my friend hit him. As my friend was walking away, the bouncer called, "you know, that's assault." My friend walked back, kneed the bouncer in the groin & hit him on the head with his elbow.

"No," he said. "That's assault."