this entry brought to you by Bailey's. Bailey's - polish off the bottle & you're an irresponsible 20-year-old again.
oh leave me alone. i'm 25 and by myself on a friday night.
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I'm listening to one of Stacy's Goth Grrrl Survival Kit items: the first Joy Division album. I really really like it, but even liking it makes me kind of sad: I should've figured out this stuff when I was still young enough to sit in a candle-lit room with my friends and worship an album of discordant goth songs without feeling self-conscious about it. Now I'm married, I'm in my mid-twenties, I'm wearing overalls, and more importantly I'm 3000 kms away from a friend who would understand. When you're by yourself this kind of night become self-indulgent more than anything else.
Well, at least regret for lost youth and loneliness are goth emotions.
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Really good English class this afternoon. Not only did we learn the 7 Liberal Arts and the 8 parts of speech, but I got to say "fuck" as an answer (question: what is an expletive?) When we started talking about Chaucer & the King James Bible I started feeling this long-buried thrill. Academia: I had no idea how much I'd missed ya. I've been getting my scholarly kicks from my U of T friends but Lord knows they've been few & far between in Nova. During today's class I was positively wiggling with excitement.
Afterwards about 4 of us hung around a bit & traded life stories (among other things). One of the boys started talking about being regularly beaten up in high school and how that shaped his character. Suddenly I had perspective on my years of social isolation - compared to regular beatings and learning to fight to survive, being ostracized as a band kid absolutely pales.
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Great meeting today. One of the profs on the good ship Education was assigned the no-doubt enjoyable task of "punching up my lessons" for next practicum, and we had our first meeting today. She is a fantastic woman (and I'm not just saying that because I'm half in the bag. (You. Are. The Best. Professor. Ever! I MEAN that... etc.)) I felt very encouraged by her interest in me. It also didn't hurt that she expressed complete sympathy with my predicament and pronounced my lesson plans "pretty good." There are very few people who want to be on Team Amoret; I'm glad that she seems to have enlisted.
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4 years ago today: i show up to a social function without a bra and wonder why everyone likes me: the prequel
