I'm feeling awfully run-over today. I didn't get all that much sleep last night, something that always makes me supremely cranky. At the photocopier, I found myself singing Boomtown Rats under my breath.

"Tell me why?"

Of course, I wasn't terribly pleased with what I was doing at the time. My enjoyment of work has been slowly eroded in the last few days. I can't stand the position I'm currently in - psychological position, I mean, not employment. I still don't know where everything goes or what it means, so instead of being able to volunteer for things, I'm reduced to bugging the other girls. I think they're starting to see me as a bit of a pest and no wonder.

But I did enjoy my outfit today. I'm running out of serious office clothes so I decided to wear my gauzy black baby doll dress over top a black unitard & black 8-holes. As I was fastening a necklace this morning, I saw my self in my dark splendor & thought of an early prison scene from American History X. Ed Norton goes into the prison yard, realizes he need a gang to survive & decides to show the other Nazis that he's on the Aryan side. His t-short comes off, revealing his large black swastika tattoos.

"Time to put up the flag."

Only for me in my all-black outfit it was the goth flag - or at the very least the disaffected bohemian college student flag.

[at this point, my notes read: "office day creeping up," and since I have no idea what that means I think we can move on.]

More wedding stuff this coming weekend. My mom wants to know how many of my friends want to come to a wedding show on Saturday morning. She can't seem to accept the fact that the answer is zero. I don't even really want to go. I'm getting mighty sick & tired of thinking about really stupid things like centerpieces when I have so many other things to do.

But I did manage to effect a breakthrough in communication with my mom over this issue. I just pointed out to her that she hadn't been interested in this crap when she got married, and I'm about as engaged by floral designs as I am with Australian rules football. This analogy seems to help.

But back on a positive tip for a bit: potential photographer came over tonight. Very cool, young, friendly, relaxed guy; interested in "documentary-style" coverage and capturing most of the people present; flat fee for 4 rolls b&w, 2 rolls colour; hated the same things I do (too much formality & posing or intrusive work); excited by 'kilts koncept' (as I've taken to kalling it); biggest wedding ambition is to photograph a bride in the rain. Maybe he'll get his chance. Must scout around a bit before committing, but I'm very excited about this guy.