december 3, 2001. Today's entry title comes from one of my Magnificent Grade 7's: "soon they heard that her father had died of anthrax and a broken heart." We were writing updated fairytales and I was struck and amused by how much this line reminded me of a Tom Waits song yet to be recorded. Atrocious day today. Every Monday from now until Christmas Hols is likely to be the same, too - fighting the class until they realize that yes, we will still be doing work this week, so they'd better put up & shut up. I taught 3 classes and was in an absolutely hair-raisingly bad mood by the end of them...but I was slightly cheered by the sight of my co-operating teacher having to contend with the same thing from her class. I thought it was just me, you see, because the very first class had been unruly and then I'd gotten flustered - I yelled, I was inconsistent about note-taking, I threatened to kick people put without actually doing so, I let the 3 weakest & worst students work together - I was a friggin' mess. If this had been my "prove myself" class last Friday I would've lost them for sure. And of course I carried the bad feeling with me all morning, and of course it poisoned all subsequent events. I was this close to renouncing my calling today and taking a job as a temp slave, simply because I wouldn't have to ask anyone to be quiet ever again. But you know, it did get better at the end of the day. I love my homeroom unreservedly - they are so much fun, and besides, I know all their names now. Unlike the other 2 classes... Our phone died last night. This morning I tried to dial into the Internet over breakfast and discovered an unsettling silence on our phone line. I was struck by the sudden fear that they had cut off service because I forgot to open this month's bill two weeks ago, and I wondered if we'd have enough money to restore service. Fortunately, it's their problem and not ours (this time). Still, I have no phone & no web today, which will make life a little more boring tonight - but a lot more productive, methinks. As for now, it's Buffy night! this time 2 years ago: wedding sine wave