december 2, 2001. "The only thing Grade 7's think about is how tall they're going to be." - wise words from a fellow choirgirl I keep looking out the window at the complete & total darkness & thinking: good heavens, it won't be getting any better for 6 weeks. The Winter Equinox is like a pivot of good feeling. Things will continue to get worse until the Sun dies & is born. Maybe then 4 p.m. won't feel like 9 p.m., or at least that's what I'm hoping. I'm starting to think now that there was something fiendish about the decision to put practice teaching sessions in the darkest time of the year. At least when January rolls around you know it's going to get better sooner or later. December is like an awkward, painful conversation with someone you barely know. And I know, I said similar things about November, but honestly, I had forgotten how, well, dark everything would be this month. We haven't had any snow worth mentioning this year, which is good for me, because I walk to & from school everyday...but it means that the waiting for winter stretches on & on past all enduring. Just frigging snow already! Sheesh. I'm PMS'ing a little today, which I think was obvious even without my little announcement. There's nothing worse that a student teacher with PMS. Just ask the Boy. It's worse today than it has been in the last couple of days because it's Sunday & I still have all my lesson planning ahead of me. And yet I don't feel like I've rested the whole weekend. Even church was a little less than completely soothing: they just refinished the wooden floor in the narthex, and the fumes combined with the stuporous heat to produce a very sleepy choirgirl. This entry isn't likely to see the light of day until at least Tuesday, when I'll have the chance to breathe. Damn. We went shopping yesterday. It was a grand adventure: this weekend was the first time we've been able to afford both the time & the money for a big shop since the Boy lost his job. It's been getting pretty ugly around the Rockethome...we've been surviving on tinned beans and angel hair pasta for more days than I care to recall. Yesterday I was almost in a frenzy, feeling an immense need to prepare my nest for whatever might come and trying to solve all my problems through groceries. We've gone back to boxed meat for the next little while - we had weaned ourselves off pre-prepared animal products this summer, but without a vehicle and the consequent ability to pick up fresh veggies & meats whenever we needed to, we have to prepare for weeks like the one just passed, when I'll be in school 5 days a week & the Boy will be working the afternoon & evening shift and neither of us will have time to run into town for any groceries at all. Sometimes your body needs protein. It's a lot easier to eat fresh foods when you have quick & easy access to a market that sells them. this time last year: I was, in a phrase, giddy & stupid. this month's font is grumble, and it comes from the blue vinyl café. the cutie kids grew up on havana street.