December 3, 1999.

It's been a neat couple of days. We've been spreading the news, collecting congratulations & buying books...probably my absolute favourite way to spend my time here on earth. On Wednesday I made it to Tea, and gained the dubious honour of "probably being the first" to announce an engagement in that setting. Lots of my old res-mates were powerfully freaked out by the news, but I got wonderful reactions from Aegis & Judith (who have been getting along a lot better since he's come out of the closet). They were so excited for me & so desirous of showing up that I promised to see what I can do. The guest list may be spinning out of control at this point, but there's nothing more flattering than that level of enthusiasm.

Especially when I could only get, "you're crazy" out of Little Spider. Blah.

I'm kind of sad right now. I had my first wedding-related snowcrash this evening, courtesy of my second cousin. All day, her mother (i.e. my second cousin's mother) has been calling to chat & congratulate me. She's just bubbling over - really excited. She ended up calling us about 3 times today. All well & good.

But around evening the phone gets busy. I'm tired from doing a bunch of silly errands. The Boy calls in a bit of a bad mood - his assignment suddenly ended today & he was nervous about money. Everytime he gets 30 seconds into the story, the other line goes off. The third time this happens, it's my second cousin, calling from school to congratulate me. I mention that I'm on the line with my fiancé, and ask if she could call back later so that we can talk longer. I'm a bit brisk, a little cold, but think that we'll have the chance to talk later. Back to the Boy. More about his hurt feelings and I try to say positive things. Call waiting beeps. It's my second cousin's mother.

"...called in tears...really hurt her feelings...you were so rude...all she wanted to do was congratulate you...really hurt...goodbye.[click]"

Halfway through she audibly starts sobbing herself. Until this point, I thought it was a joke. She called her mom in tears? Because I asked her to call later when we'd have more time to talk? I couldn't believe it...my second cousin sounded perfectly fine all through the short call. I thought her mother's hysteria was a put on, right up until she hung up. (Good thing none of those observations made it out of my mouth.)

It's at this point I wished I owned some dishes. I dearly wanted to throw something fragile against the wall. Instead I savaged my laundry basket & made up some sincere garbage to feed them. When I did manage to get my cousin on the phone (her daughter will likely not speak to me for days), I coated the garbage in honey and slid it down her fucking throat.

"was worried about the Boy...was all stressed from shopping...meant to say how happy and pleased I was that your family is so overjoyed for me...thought we could talk tonight for hours...thought your daughter wasn't a fucking psychopath & thought you had an ounce of common sense to balance out the hysterical ravings of an eighteen year old..."

Okay, I didn't say that last bit. But you knew that. My mom - who had listened to the critical exchange with my second cousin & found nothing offensive about my words - said that my phone apology was sincere and smooth...and she's listened to me fake my way through a lot of things. So I have to hope that in lieu of an Oscar^tm, everybody will calm down.

In the meantime, I've cried & cried from sheer frustration. This is the stupidest thing ever, and it depresses the hell out of me. My eyes are sore & every time I close them, I hear little swirls of chattering dialogue meant to put me in my place. Wherever that is.

Rat fink bastards, pulling this stunt on the Princess.¹

To skip on to a lighter topic, I tried on my first wedding dress today. It was sleeveless satin with flower detailing on the waist & a full (crinoline!!) skirt. Very nice...I bounced around until the saleslady took me out of it. Unfortunately, the 99.14 on the tag was the serial number & not the price. I don't know that I can justify $1400 for a one-time only dress...luckily I'm not expected to buy the first thing I try on. But it was soooo nice...

Another nice thing is that my mother & I haven't fought since the announcement. She's surprised that I'm so relaxed about the whole thing and I'm surprised for the same reason. I'd always thought that we'd be like hot & cold air fronts during the planning...but for now the rain seems to be holding off.

"They're like fire and ice, and I'm in the middle like lukewarm water."
- this is spinal tap

But I think the best thing to come of Engagement: Aftermath is that my friendship with Scherezade seems to be coming back to life. I really really missed her...there's something tragic & eternally wrenching about parting from the one person in the world with whom you could spend a sunny day in the basement watching the same movie over and over and never get bored.

Yeah. That's the way I feel exactly.

^1. From now on, whenever I refer to myself in bride persona, I will use the term Princess...as in blushing-bride Lou screaming at her sister, "today is my Princess day and you will make me tea!!"