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august 30, 2000. 6:45-7:20 a.m. I get my only uninterrupted deep sleep of the night while the Boy takes the cat for a potty romp in a near-by field. Their return & my subsequent awakening makes me moan in frustration.
7:30 Cram cat into carrier, take last kleenex from hotel box, cram carrier into van. The Boy loads up Tom Petty & we start driving.
7:32 Cat throws food at us.
"Is it too much to ask that she be a dog for 2 days?"
"I hate you guys."
7:55 We encounter road construction. Although adequately marked, the "FIN" signs at the end of the project give the drive an unsettling cinematic quality. Waiting for Fellini. We sing a chorus of "Ceilidh, the smelliest cat," in an attempt to calm her down. Attempt unsuccessful.
7:56 The Boy begins to quote Moody Blues. I beg him to stop.
7:57 Cat throws food at us.
8:06 Cat throws litter at us.
9:06 Cat throws something unidentified at us.
9:41 I am now driving. It's fun. We pass the exit to Rivière de Loup advertises food, lodging & whales. Almost tempted to stop.
11 a.m. - Edmonston, New Brunswick We stop for lunch at the local Subway franchise. During this trip we've been attracted to familiar fast food chains, as we're just eating to eat and not to savour. Unlike yesterday's crap (KFC & Burger King), the sandwich is almost healthy, and I am not dehabilitatingly nauseous after lunch. As if this wasn't good enough, the store is offering Powerpuff Girls toys, so I snagged me a MoJo JoJo gun (fun yet the lamest of all the toys), When I leave the restaurant, I meet up with the Boy who is standing next to a small island of bushes planted next to an adjoining building. The cat is within, hiding. My morale is very high.
11:38 Cat throws water at us.
11:44 Cat throws water at us.
11:47 Cat is sternly warned to 'stop it.' The threat hangs in the air.
11:54 She has not yet stopped it. The Boy grows suddenly weary of acting as my stenographer & warns that he will stop performing this sacred duty. The threat hangs in the air.
12:08 p.m. Cat throws water at us. The Boy again threatens not to record this incident. Note: threat is empty.
1:45 p.m. - Nackawik We see a sign advertising the World's Largest Axe, although no further signs appear. I feel cheated.
2:10 p.m. - near Lake Davidson A tank is spotted riding a flatbed truck in the oposite lanes of the highway.
"You'd think a tank would be capable of moving itself. Apparently not."
3 p.m. - Maugerville. Switch! I have driven almost the entire length of New Brunswick. I feel very proud and only agree to switch when the turnings of the road start to make very little impression on me. It is very beautiful here, but the road is very twisty and the driver must pay attention.
3:35 - near Pearsonville Almost die. (note: we didn't.)
3:38 Discuss Ned Flanders in some detail.
3:45 My Winnie the Pooh watch is ceremoniously changed to Atlantic Standard Time (4:45). Immediately feel like we're running behind. (All times noted are still in Eastern Standard. It's just easier that way.)
4 p.m. I decide that I should've gone to York. The Boy laughs mirthlessly.
4:41 - near Memramcook "That sign says Memramcook...but I kind of wish it said Memramcock. That would be funny."
6 p.m. We turn on the CBC News in time to hear about a doctor in South Wales who's house was attacked by an angry mob that had confused her profession of pediatrician with the crime of pedophilia. All of this was done at the insistence of a tabloid that was starting it's own crusade against "the dangers among us." I am very tempted to quote the line about "a little learning," but I won't.
6:30 - Dinner in Truro, Nova Scotia We eat at the Ponderosa. Like the St. Hubert in Quebec, I begin to understand why this chain has disappeared from Ontario. Slack jawed yokels munch & stare at my admittedly outlandish bellbottoms. Indifferent bussing leaves half the empty tables full of trash. An employee explains at some length to another why you should rent "The Nutty Professor" before seeing the recently released sequel and I try not to roll my eyes. The staff on break is eating from Burger King bags.
Not only that, but they have the gall to charge $7 for a tiny portion of fish & chips obviously heated from frozen. The mind reels.
Morale further lowered by the current state of the cat - bedraggled, drugged up, filthy. All of the little amenities the Boy provided in her box have mixed together & clumped in her longish fur. When the Boy went in to get the cat vetted up for the trip, the doctor made a joke about kitty Janis Joplins when she handed over the valium. Now such light hearted comments seem depressingly accurate.
9:30 - Arrival in Wolfville, NS. Our home for the next 2 years. We had just driven through an hour of pitch dark hairpin turns that made me well acquainted with the taste of adrenaline. Highway 14 must be beautiful during the day. In the last hour we've tried to make plans covering what to do if the apartment office is closed. The weather report ends one plan - we can't sleep on the lawn in the pouring rain. Besides, what would we do with the cat?
We find the apartments thanks to my fuzzy memory of the crappy campus maps provided in the literature sent to me over the summer. We find the office by instinct - just like cutlery should be a certain place in the kitchen, offices should be a certain place among townhouses. Inside are friendly people who give us 2 keys and a bunch of quick introductions. The apartment is wonderful. Big, bigger than we expected with freshly cleaned wall-to-wall carpet and freshly painted white walls. The painter-everything guy shows us around, pointing out various features with pride & delight. Unlike Toronto landlords who seem to despise you even as they take hundreds of dollars for a broken down shack, the people here are proud to offer a superior product and confident enough to act like their tenants are human beings. I wanted to cry, but instead I ran around unpacking the van in a sudden spurt of energy. The cat gets a bath, which puts the cap on her trauma and puts three big gouges in the Boy's tattooed bicep.
Our stuff looks so small here. I couldn't be happier with that fact.
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