april 27, 2002.

When the Boy got home last night, we hit the town...student-teacher style! First up was a luscious dinner at Acton's which left us sated and sleepy. Next we began a tour of various student-teacher house parties. It was dull & drunken for the most part, although things were tolerable at the Anti-Stephen's. By the time we showed up on his doorstep, everyone else had departed for the bar...so we were free to listen to Nick Cave & tell stories & drink wine.

One of the Anti-Stephen's old friends was there, and apparently they have developed a relationship based on punishing violence. As the Anti-Stephen began the first story of the night, his friend, who was sitting next to me on the futon, shocked the hell out of us by pulling out a small axe and taking a purposeful swing at the Anti-Stephen's toes. The Anti-Stephen pulled his feet back in time and simply continued on with the story as if nothing had happened. I was, as I said, felling sated and sleepy from the gorgeous meal I had just consumed...but nevertheless I felt the need to make some sort of warning statement.

"Look," I said placidly. "The Anti-Stephen is cool with that sort of thing. But I have to warn you that if you come after me I won't be so cool."

"What are you going to do?" he sneered. "If I chopped off your leg, what would you do?"

"I would beat you to death with it." I said calmly, taking another sip of wine. I felt the ghosts of my witchy ancestors looking at me.

"You would beat me to death...with your leg?" He paused, as if to think.

"Gotta respect that," he said finally.

And we had no more problems from that point on.

* * *

I have spent the day reconnecting to my house, by which I mean, cleaning my house thoroughly. I have to admit that it's not in a very impressive state right now; the livingroom is tidy but dusty and the rest of the rooms are largely untouched. Still, it took me two hours to get this far, so I'm pretty pleased with the amount of effort I put into housework on my Do-Nothing Saturday.

By the way, the reason I felt so motivated to clean the livingroom is that my parents sent me a large multi-coloured bouquet of flowers to congratulate me on passing. As I held the huge collection of blooms in my arms, I realized that I needed to make the livingroom a fit space for my blossoms. And it is, now.

I have also spent untold hours readying these diary entries. I am currently 18 entries behind. Even for me, that's a record. My next project will be restoring the redacted entries and inserting the bits I left out this month. Fun fun!

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1 year ago today: dancehall deputy