June 2, 1999.

Whazzizname is hanging around my campus again. Last summer he was here for the shooting of Urban Legend (which by the way is so full of geographical continuity errors that it's a sarcastic delight or a tragedy to watch, depending on the person watching). That movie had so much of the campus in it that recent alumni were known to watch it just to pick on the movie's general crappiness and submerge their tears at having finally graduated.

According to the press releases posted on the buildings, this is another slasher-preys-on-a-campus flick. You'd think he'd want to expand his resume a bit, but no...he's still hanging around the Varsity office in his Gap khakis, waiting for the blood to rain and the cash to flow.

On a slightly different thread, you wouldn't believe how many times my university has stood in for an "Ivy League" movie set...which is, I suppose, the president's justification for calling it "Harvard of the North." That and the fact that the tuition levels are approaching parity.

You are never bitter, deceptive or petty

- today's fortune cookie

Isn't there a quality control initiative for oracles these days? Sheesh. That is the most laughably ass-backwards fortune I've ever received. I would've laughed out loud, if I hadn't been too freighted down with bitterness.

The cookie was the result of my second dinner. You see, along with the increase in my social life, I'm on the receiving end of meal invitations at least 5 times a day. I'll eat when I'm hungry, then the Boy will drop in and I get to watch him eat a sub. This afternoon Dirk dropped in during his dinner break; I watched him eat a hot dog and contented myself with fries & gravy. Not 2 hours later, Guy & St. Jack knocked on the door, asking me out to dinner.

I'm starting to bloat.

I'm already the fattest person at the Commune, but this is ridiculous.

"No...more...pie........."

- cartman