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july 11, 2000. Well, somebody just bought us 2 spice racks. I tell you, this online registry stuff is incredible.
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Went to visit with my soon to be mother in law last night. (Gosh, that sounds strange.) I think she's been feeling a bit out of the loop in the last year; my family is just so into this wedding that we've hogged all the fun of planning it. Plus, she's just finished her busiest season - she's a teacher - so she didn't exactly have time to go tracking us down with bloodhounds. It makes me kind of sad, especially since the Boy doesn't even want to call her up & chat. He's still dealing with lingering remarriage issues, and sometimes I find myself saying, "of course she wants to hear from you, she's your mother!" Her first born is getting married and moving half way across the country, and he won't even keep in touch while he's here. Yeah, that makes me sad.
But the visit tonight was quite enjoyable. We ran over things like the response rate, who should be where and when they should be there, and all the other minutiae that makes up the bulk of my thoughts these days. (I'm reminded of the Penguin cover of Hobbes' Leviathan, which shows a king made up of tiny human forms. That's me, only my constituent parts are details about flowers and shoes.) It was very pleasant. I've always felt very at ease with the Boy's family (I suppose I could call it the Family, but I'm half Italian and I don't need the mob comparisons).
Perhaps it's just because there isn't a backlog of embarrassment and bad feelings to wade through, and of course to be conjured anew when polite conversation runs dry at Thanksgiving. I'll always be the girl who smashed the cake that one time, who didn't have a boyfriend until she was 18, who always had her nose in a book. I'm still that last one, so I can't complain about it too much. Still. I often feel strangled by the past; I wish I could shuck it off like a crow drops old feathers.
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