February 19, 1999.

Just before I get started, I'd like to point out that I was just visitor 1999 (I guess that means it's my champagne visit), which strongly suggests that I'm going to top the two G mark today. All I can say is...huh? When I started my first page almost two years ago, it was like pulling teeth to get a hundred. Wow. I'm pleasantly baffled. Good work, people.

I have a roll of film that's been sitting on my desk since New Year's Eve 1998. For a reasons that I can't fathom, my parents decided to have it developed for me, along with the last of their Italian vacation photos. (Okay, I can fathom the reasons: they're being nice to me. But anyway.)

Do you know what I have? Out-of-focus shots of my cousin Jessica's baby a week after his birth, including one where I use my chenille boa as a makeshift afro for the baby (his family was not impressed). The New Year's Eve party at the Lawyer's, including a) couples that have just recently broken up and b) people I am no longer friends with (there's a really nice one of Lady Godiva, Ophelia and myself that would've been all the sweeter if Ophelia was actually talking to me, or I to her). James Joyce Night - see previous notation.

Useless photos all. And my folks shelled out the extra $2 to get doubles. Sigh.

I just woke up from a dream in which Ophelia and I made a tentative peace. It was wonderful. Then I woke up to find my problems still unsolved. This is much like the time I dreamt that I found out the recycling schedule for my neighborhood, so that I could finally clear our front hall of garbage...but substantially different, too. I guess the photos reminded me how much I loved her, how much I still do, and how much it hurt to be cut off from her heart. There are about a million different moments when I could've reached out and asked why, but I let my pride carry me into a stiff-necked & lonely future. Lovely.

On a somewhat lighter note, last night represented the first time Little Spider and I have played music together since 1994. A few months ago, the Boy conceived of a little 4-track project so that he could encourage LS to play bass with him. The original concept was very surf-punk-cuddle-core, very unthreatening to the reluctant musician. Slightly later, I wormed my way onboard to showcase my limited drumming skills (haven't I ever mentioned that I play drums? I also play piano, flute & guitar). Then the Boy decided that he wanted us to play at his housewarming/quarter century birthday party this May, which upped the ante considerably. We've been writing songs for a few weeks now, but last night was the first night anyone but the Boy has played them.

I had a pretty good time, actually. It was a lot easier to keep a beat on a floor tom and snare (like the JAMC, you giggle!) - much easier than I'd thought at least, and LS was a lot better than she'll let herself admit. We might only slightly embarrass ourselves in May. Fingers crossed, people...