Today is my brother's 24th birthday. We're only 18 months apart in age and every year I am surprised by how old he's getting. Also, my tattoo is now five years old, and rapidly becoming an only-mutilation.
This is the first poem I've written in years and it probably sucks; I've never been a very good judge of these things.
w.w.j.b.d.?
arcs of slender words
full of dreams and bright rage
also flashing sweet
* * *
This afternoon I spent money like water, all in the name of producing a decent grad photo. I think it went rather well: my hair is a satisfyingly glossy black and was adequately curly for the photos. I was very relaxed throughout because I had convinced myself that this didn't really matter. And it doesn't, really. I have a degree; God willing, I'll have another one this spring. Photos are ephemeral things, and besides, I have a raft of glamorous wedding photos to keep my ego artificially inflated. I have met the test of über-femininity, and I have used a number #2 pencil to beat the living daylights out of it.
I am very glad I decided to take a cab, though. Last time I convinced myself that three blocks wasn't worth it, and in 15 minutes the rain and the wind had made a hair appointment completely unnecessary. The weather today was remarkably similar in its' utter malevolence; on my way out of the studio, the icy rain made my face ache until I gave in and pulled on a woollen toque. This is glamour - Canadian style!
* * *
This afternoon I met with Rev. Robyn to make sure that the webpage the congregation would see would be an acceptable one. I'm always surprised at how oppressively quiet the church building seems during all the days that aren't Sunday. The two of us kept our voices quiet for no good reason, perhaps in homage to this restrictive silence.
What I found more surprising, however, was that Robyn - like many other women - can recite a laundry list of physical flaws during girl talk. I was agog, really; she's one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. She shines with light; her spirit is dazzling - and she's quite physically lovely to boot. I find it stunning that she doesn't know this.
This, however, is often the way of beautiful girls. As Stacy said, "but you were always beautiful," and I believed it. Maybe the two of them need to hook up.
* * *
1 year ago today: Suddenly there's no "new" after my "what's".
