December 25, 1999.

In the spirit of mis-matched holidays, I now present a list more suited to Valentine's Day than Christ's Mass.

10 things I love about my betrothed

• for about a year, he referred to himself in print as J. Harvey
  I think it's an unbearably adorable display of pretentiousness. I love that he can be as pretentious as myself.
• he sings Smiths songs to me
  He has a special Morrissey voice that sounds somewhat like Mr. Bean.
• he looks good in black t-shirts
  Every once in awhile it takes me by surprise.
• he teases his cat
  Sometimes he picks up her hind legs & pretends she's a wheelbarrow. Other times he pushes the fur back from her face and calls her weasel. Then she takes a swipe at his eyes.
• he has elegant, cryptic tattoos
  Spare, symbolic & monotone. Almost tough-looking.
• he's attractive to women and men
  I take a superficial pleasure in knowing that I am sometimes envied.
• he dances
  For fun. By himself if necessary.
• he knows things that I don't have the patience to learn
  Like jazz & philosophy.
• he can play the guitar
  Yeah.
• he can write songs
  Different from the above. I like the songs about my clothes best ("World's Ugliest Shirt").

...and one to grow on

• at heart he's a D&D geek
  He wants to play miniatures for hours in lieu of a bachelor party.