august 29, 2002.

Ugh. I'm exhausted. I'm starting to feel the way I did in June: completely overwhelmed and outmatched. I get out of bed tired, I lay in bed wired. Too few hours. Too many social commitments.

My mom has been keeping me hopping in the last few days. We went over to my parents' house for dinner last night, and then the whole family (minus Nic) dropped by my grandmother's house to see my pre-op cancerous uncle. Today I picked her up at the house and we went to see a new baby girl, then into Hogsboro High for a frantic half-hour of set-up. The whole family (minus the Boy) went out for dinner at a local Greek diner, then I toddled off to get my hair dyed & trimmed.

It's a lot, especially when I'm doing it all by myself for long stretches of time. This week the Boy has been resting and fooling around with his new laptop, which is very needed as he's about to start school again in a week. But I feel like I'm never anywhere long enough to get anything done. And I still have no idea what's expected of me in terms of curriculum. Good thing that deadlines - i.e. this weekend - have a way of clarifying my thoughts in that regard.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that the Boy has been tidying/sorting/unpacking/cooking/washing for the both of us this week. He's a sweetie of a lovey. Besides the fact that it's just a generally nice thing to do, having my house resolve itself into a usable state is very, very helpful to me. Mess makes me frantic.

The baby girl was a wonderful break to my spastic mood of the past week. She's less than a day old, but rather big, as she was 2 weeks overdue. They've given her a traditional name with a crazy spelling, a practice that I tend to find suspect...but at least her nickname (Abby) is clear and enjoyable. She slept in my arms as the three of us gossiped, and when we switched rooms to accommodate another mother, I got to show her the watercolour painting in the hall. I think I'm the first to show her art, and she rewarded me by opening her blue eyes wide and thoughtfully. (I had a brief fantasy about bringing her to the Art Institute, but quickly realized that it was impractical to say the least.)

I am more resolved than ever to be giving birth by my thirtieth birthday. I've wanted a baby my whole life, and dammit, I've waited long enough. Besides, Amy thinks that I should "give [the Boy] a baby, already." I do what I'm told.

I have an emergency cellphone plan now! Yes, I've become the person I despise, that is, the person walking through the mall having a personal conversation. I'll try to keep it in my car, just to cut down on the amount of narcissistic usage I'm likely to fall into. Because when a loudmouth like me gets a hold of an instant anywhere speaking tube, well, all I'm going to say is that my friends are going to wish that they had unlisted numbers.

I've been told that some members of my list aren't getting notified under the new system. If this applies to you, please know that I haven't booted you off! Just email me and we'll try to figure it all out.

Spoke to the Lawyer today for the first time since Poet's wedding. He's mightily amused by the fact that I'm running around the Greater Gomorrah Area while the Boy is taking it easy. I told him that the Boy was studying the Torah; unfortunately he didn't think it was a joke until I told him so. That's me, a humourist's humourist.

Going crazy, trying to find time to write! Maybe I'll hibernate tomorrow night and get the Chicago trip on paper. Man, having one less thing to do would really, really be sweet.

Bedtime.

2 years ago today: CON-VOY!