Ridiculously happy right now. Petra's been having me over on Mondays to watch Buffy, and tonight that involved being a good guest & drinking the beer that's cluttering up her fridge. I left in a happy daze, the taste of beer in my mouth combining with the afterimage of happy relaxed conversation, plus crisp darkness and my heavy leather U of T jacket. It was so close to days of yore that I half expected Agamemnon to swing round the corner & stand me a round at the James Joyce. Paris would be waiting for us & Dirk would be very very late.

I think I've started to make myself depressed. Next topic...

I've been tentatively enjoying my new role as breadwinner of the household. I've never been the breadwinner before; all the times I've lived on my own I've been financially underwritten by my parents, if not dependent upon them. Now I know why the Boy was driven to eat plate after never-ending plate of spaghettini the year before we got married - it fills you up & it's cheap. I have to think about these things, now that I'm the breadwinner.

We haven't experienced real hardship at this point, so it's easy to be happy. The Boy is almost feverishly productive as of late: he's been doing all the housework for the past 3 days and spends the rest of his time happily pursuing projects. I've seen him break into spontaneous dance more times today than I can count. Yes, he's a happy housebitch. But one wonders how long it will last.

No leads yet, although we have applied for the pogey (as Poet says, it's the only honourable thing to do), and calculated the exact range of salary that will be counterproductive. Yes, we have figured out to the very dollar when working becomes less profitable than the dole. A Canadian tradition, or so I am told.

Church was amazing, though. We weren't supposed to be there, as we had planned to drive to Cape Breton for square dancing (don't laugh! it would've been fun!). But of course, no job = no van, so we had to stick around the house instead. Going to church was at once an attempt to pick up the pieces of our routine and seek comfort in a spiritual community. But we got way more than that. It seems that we have firmly established ourselves in the network, for more than one person has promised to keep an ear out for job opportunities on the Boy's behalf. And not only that, but as soon as she heard the news, the Sunday School Superintendent asked the Boy to drop by the fair trade coffee shop where she works.

("But how will you get there?" I asked at this point in the story.

"[Smart, wonderful older lady of the congregation] offered to lend me her car."

"What??")

And although nothing came of that meeting, it was enormously comforting to know that people are making the offers to take care of us. It's hard being poor when you're far from friends & family; our church is going a long way towards filling some of that gap.