november 6, 2000. The cat's off in the bush again. I just can't figure it - when we got here, you couldn't get her to stay on the lawn. She'd just bolt for the house as fast as she could, a grey streak trying to get inside again. Then there was the period when she'd just hang around the porch. These days when she meows to go out, she doesn't waste time: it's down the steps, over the path, into the parking lot, across the street & into the bush. You can track her progress out the window, it's that regular. But I think the weirdest part is that she sticks to the asphalt path when she can...and she crosses the street from the curb cut, in the same place a car would exit the lot. Funny kitty. I really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. I don't think I could stomach a repeat of Guilt Day - the Boy out of town, the cat in the rain & everything is my fault. Nope. In class we did a discovery activity that had us draw as we did in Grade 1. I can't remember much about my technique at the time, so I decided to wing it. It was tremendous fun. I remember being very annoyed at myself at a very young age, because I couldn't draw a perfect picture. This was much more freeing, much more like it must have been when I was a little girl. First I drew the Boy & me. We're blue stick figures with knees. I have a skirt; he has a Maple Leafs jersey. My lips are orange on top of the blue. There's also orange force-lines coming up from our bodies (I have no idea why, it just seemed right at the time.) I drew a scribble-sun with pointy rays, a scribble of grass and tall scribbly pink flowers with amazingly trunk-like stalks & circle leaves. Then I drew the cat, only she's purple & her tail is long & thin & curly like a mouse. But she's still a grumpy kitty. And so, having drawn my family, the rest was easy. I set out to solve all my problems; all the things that I know must be endured. First: I drew the brown castle where we live. My bedroom is in the round tower. There's a moat & battlements, but it looks pretty empty. Then I drew the snowman that cooks our food, and the big book that tells us what to do whenever we wonder about things. I drew the purple Friend Phone, which has a friend on the other side every time it rings. Finally, I drew the head of a green horse, poking in to see what's going on. I decided later that the horse carries us around, but he's also our friend. I was so happy. Sooo happy. The stick figures lived in a sunny world of endless possibility, filled with nice things. They never fought about anything. The snowman cooked our meals of nutrition & fun. The horse took us on adventures big & small. It was only when I described this picture to the Boy that I began to feel sad. Suddenly my problems seemed overwhelming; my needs destined to yawn unfilled. This happened very quickly, you understand - before I knew it, I was crying. It's that time of year, really it is. I know that when the academic pressures are over, the real-life teaching will be about to begin. So what do I look forward to? The answer is a castle. The answer is nice things. The answer is a friend on the phone.