I spent a great deal of time tossing and turning in bed last night, unable to stop the loops from running through my head. Part of me is really crushed that I won't get the emotional break of being in Toronto for the next few years...and part of me is in love with the impulsivity of suddenly deciding to move to the next western city from Toronto (like we overshot on our destination and had to make the best of it.) I was really elated last night as well, because I am finally full of the happiness that comes when you really trust your partner to make life wonderful. Being all hormoney and flushed with love is one thing because that doesn't last. But it's amazing that the feeling of deep trust is so very similar.
This is a great place to be mentally; as soon as I pass this hell-forsaken practicum I can start getting excited again. It's nice to be poised between two sparkling possibilities.
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Today was my first SMILE session since November: my first was cancelled due to ice and I was AWOL in PEI for the second (how many more acronyms can I fit into that sentence? I suppose I could add TSTDNSIN, although it makes no sense here and just makes Dirk happy). Returning to the point, it's been an awful long time since I tricked myself out in sweatpants and played with a kid for three hours on a Saturday morning. When Little Orphan Annie didn't show up, I didn't know what to feel. I ended up covering for an Instructor no-show...which meant that I got to play all morning without worrying about goals and there was no tedious filling out of paperwork at the end of it. Great morning.
However, the two of us were so exhausted by afternoon that as soon as we got home with the week's groceries, we had to lie down for a 2-hour nap. I haven't slept that much during the day since I was ill in November. Heavenly.
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1 year ago today: ethical muffin
