june 10, 2001. This morning I realized that I had missed yesterday's church women gathering. This is just the capstone of 3 embarrassing weeks in which I have forgotten meeting times, forgotten committees and forgotten vacations. I booked myself to read an announcement in church on the same weekend that we were going away to Edmonton. I almost didn't make it to a website planning meeting with Rev. Robyn; wouldn't have remembered at all if the Boy hadn't called me that night. I feel like I'm losing my mind. These repeating lapses hit me right where I live: if I don't have my brain, I certainly can't make do with my personality or (derisive laugh) my looks. Besides, the Boy is already the absent-minded member of our partnership. One of us has to remain hyper-alert to things like meetings and deadlines and past-due notices. If I lose it, we're sunk. When I saw the flyer for the women's day away, I just unraveled. Even though I was all dressed up & ready to go, I was perfectly ready to hide in the house rather than face any kind inquiry…there's only so many times I can say 'it slipped my mind' before I lose every bit of credit. I felt like a complete and utter dolt and I had no wish to run into anybody wondering why I kept breaking engagements. On the whole, I'm glad I swallowed my pride. This week the children put on their spring show (a Veggie Tales adaptation of the Good Samaritan), and it was both cute and well done. Not cringe-worthy at all. After the service, the whole congregation headed out to a local park for the church picnic, and though I was still feeling anti-social and cruddy, I decided to bite the bullet. I think I'm out of practice taking social risks. It's funny to think that a church picnic qualifies as an unusual social situation, but when I think about my friends, the Boy & I are pretty much the only ones actively involved in a community of worship (Agamemnon excepted, of course). I haven't been to a church picnic since I was little, so I've having trouble slotting it into my own experience. I think what I liked best about the afternoon was that it was like regular church, only outside and with potato salad and sack races. There really is no change in attitude: the congregation is just as friendly any week. There was no false show of geniality. That pleases me. And just for the record, the Boy was a close contender in everything he entered. I was absolute dead last in my sack race - and then I fell. Whee! Since I had no dignity today to begin with, I was perfectly happy with this result.