The thoughts & opinions of Sassarella, the Queen of Sass as she cavorts in 's Gravenhage & beyond. Brought to you by CES's (Chief Executive Slaves) of Big Skanky Ho Inc.
People keep laughing at me when I say that smoking pot is really good for menstrual cramps. "What an excuse," they laugh. "What a ridiculous excuse to smoke pot, you crazy bitch."
Like I need an excuse. I live in the Netherlands, dammit. I can smoke pot anytime the urge strikes me and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. I don't need an excuse. And if I did, I'd come up with something a little bit better than that.
For example:
"I've had every bone in my body laced with adamantium and every time I tense up, my muscles scrape against the adamantium thus causing me intense pain. So, I need to relax, or it will hurt more than anything that has ever hurt before."
"I used to be a supermodel, and the resulting body issues caused me to lose all appetite. I have to smoke pot constantly to regain a normal appetite, or I will starve myself to death."
"All of my ambitions involve total world domination and the extermination of all people named Douglas and/or Bruce. As these are not reasonable ambitions, I need to smoke a lot of pot so that I can lose them."
"I have a supersensitive sense of taste. If not for the deadening of taste buds that results from pot smoking, I would never be able to kiss anyone without being instantly repulsed."
"The visions and mad paranoia resulting from my pot smoking have taken my art to a whole other level. Just look at my blog entries if you want proof."
The irony? I only smoke pot if someone else buys it. I could become addicted, but I really don't have friends who are that generous.
