The thoughts & opinions of Sassarella, the Queen of Sass as she cavorts in 's Gravenhage & beyond. Brought to you by CES's (Chief Executive Slaves) of Big Skanky Ho Inc.
I woke up this morning, hopped on my computer and attempted to actually get something done. I'm supposed to be designing an album cover for a friend and after months of fucking around, I finally get photos of the band, only to lose all inspiration... I sat there for a good half hour putting graffiti on the pictures. "Ape shall not kill ape," "pull my finger," and "look at my bum," were just some of the gems I came up with. I packed it in at this point and moved on to feeling sorry for myself on the couch.
There was actual sunlight today so I went out for art supplies and a bike repair, only to discover that the bike store does not take repairs on weekends. So I can only ride my bike in the highest gear (that's right, my new bike has gears!), which is something like three, so I'm somehow managing. So, Monday afternoon, it's back to the bike store with me. The guy at the bike store is really cute and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm breaking my bike to check him out (I wish I was, frankly, because I'd feel less stupid). In the past few weeks, I've shown up at this store with three different bikes, all of them with something wrong with them. I hope Monday will be the last time, because I'm beginning to feel like a complete incompetent and... well... he is really cute. I would hit on him if I didn't feel so stupid every time I showed up there.
Sigh. Got nothing done today except that I made myself a pretty decent dinner and danced around the house to Ziggy Stardust and Jon Spencer. Then I went back to the couch and made some phone calls.
To all the people who are feeling low this week, just remember the eternal words of Mae West:
"Don't let a man put anything over on ya 'cept an umbrella."
I don't know how that really applies to anyone's problems, but hey, it's pretty snappy. posted by Alleen at 10:06:03 PM
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Garg. I am in one crappy ass mood. I'm in the kind of mood where you end up sitting up on a couch for hours watching Italian tv because you're too irritated to change the channel and there's nothing better on anyway. I finally manage to turn the tv off, only to turn to the much more culturally edifying internet for amusement. My head hurts, I'm dead tired, and I don't feel like doing anything, but I don't feel like going to sleep. And there's nothing on the internet I want to look at either. Y'all should be glad you're so far away because I feel like absolute death.
I do have a problem that somebody might be able to help me with (if anyone on the planet actually responds to these things). My bike's chain appears to have slipped. However, my bike also appears to have no chain. Explain this to me and explain how to fix it and you will gain my undying love. Or you will get to feel like a hero for making me feel slightly less crappy. Whichever will make you happier. You can use the comments or just e-mail me if you 've got my address. I need help, people. I have to get to work tomorrow somehow. posted by Alleen at 11:28:57 PM
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Slow week. Not much to report. Picked up my new bike on Monday. Got to practice my rudimentary Dutch on the people at the bike store. Basically, I had to keep saying "te hoge" over and over, which I hope means too high, as every bike I tried out turned out to be way too tall for me. But that's the way things are done in the Netherlands, so I went home with a really tall bike at the end of the day, prompting the question of why I got rid of the other one in the first place.
Also this week, I discovered the true joy of Christmas in the Netherlands... oliebollen! Basically, an olieboll is a deep-fried, fist-sized ball of dough covered in powdered sugar. You can get them with different fillings too, and they are as delicious as they are unhealthy, which is a lot. Oliebollen vendors only come out around this time of year and these things don't really keep well, so this is probably the only time I'm going to be in the Netherlands to enjoy these things. So, in the spirit of international relations, I've decided to enjoy them as much as possible. Which is not much because there's only so much deep-fried dough I can eat without getting ill. Sad. posted by Alleen at 11:05:10 PM
Alright. I'm on to bike number four now. The last bike was not only too tall, but also had the additional problem of being too rusted up to lower. Since I needed a step stool to get on this bike and no way of putting feet on the ground while riding, I gave up. I sold it to a bike store and tomorrow I have togo pick up my trade-in. I've been here since April and I've already gone through three bikes. This is, at best, sad. Like I said, I should probably just buy a nice one, but ... I suck, I guess.
Anyway, yesterday, I got to see the phenomenon known as Sinter Klaas and Zwarte Piet together for the first time. Holy crow. Okay, basically, the Dutch version of Santa Claus is Spanish. He comes by boat from Spain every year, basically dressed like some sort of cardinal with a huge white flowing beard. If your lucky enough to live in a city with a harbour (which is pretty likely in the Netherlands), you will mostly likely get to see Sinter Klaas coming in to the harbour on his boat, loaded up with presents and Zwarte Piets. Den Haag does have a harbour, so I went out there yesterday to check out the party. First off, I can tell you, if you're over the age of six, you're probably not going to be much interested in this. If you don't like to be surrounding by screaming children and irate, irritated parents who still haven't finished their morning cigarette and coffee, you're definitely not going to like this much. The only thing in all this mess is Sinter Klaas's elf, Zwarte Piet, otherwise known as Black Peter. Zwarte Piet is some kind of holdover from back in the day, which in North America would have gotten tossed in the rubbish long ago as too politically incorrect. In the Netherlands, they stick Zwarte Piet dolls in shop windows. They sell Zwarte Piet costumes and black face paint for children. They write songs about him. They sell chocolates and balloons with his face on them. And when Sinter Klaas shows up in the harbour, he shows up with a whole band of Zwarte Piets. In fact, Zwarte Piets work the crowd before he shows up.
When I showed up at the harbour, someone had explained to me that Zwarte Piet was a pretty harmless tradition. The story goes that Zwarte Piet, Sinter Klaas' servant, keeps the records of who's been good or bad during the year. The bad children get carried off by Zwarte Piet in his sack, whereas the good children get presents, which he brings by coming down through the chimney, which is how he became black. This is basically what I got from several different sources, so I'm not sure which is right and which isn't.
It may have started out harmless (though I don't know if I buy this), but watching a bunch of white people dancing around in what was obviously blackface soon put paid to that notion. I don't know how offensive black people in the Netherlands find this, but there was all of two black people at the harbour. And this is out of thousands of people who'd shown up to gawk at Sinter Klaas. I'm not really sure what to make of it.
But anyway, I'll post some pictures of Zwarte Piet and y'all can tell me what you think. posted by Alleen at 10:28:47 AM
